As your child is growing older it is even more important that you provide a positive role model for your child. We are all a product of our upbringing and early environment. We are conditioned to respond to certain situations and stimuli.
In past times, and in some societies in our modern world, children were “to be seen but not heard!” How could that instil a sense of self worth into a child? They are so valuable to their parents, that the adult would prefer them to pretend they weren’t there! No wonder children brought up in this way lack confidence and belief in themselves.
It is easy to see how a child is negative about life when they hear their parents moaning and complaining about:
- how hard life is
- how difficult everyone else makes their job
- how awful the boss is, etc, etc
Don’t let them hear you complain can’t do x, y or z. Actions speak louder than words so if there is something you are afraid of doing, why not see can you beat that fear. Parents who approach everything in life with a “I can do that” attitude raise more confident children.
So try putting on a pair of rose tinted glasses especially around your kids. Make an effort to make positive statements and see the silver lining in all the dark clouds. Give your children the chance to be a positive, well rounded confident children. And you never know you may enjoy life a little better as well.
We live in a time pressed society; we are so busy working, paying bills and trying to catch up on social media. More of us are stressed over the bills and our jobs. Children don’t know that it is outside influences that are causing parents to be snappy or hassled. They can believe that they have done something wrong.
So try to take some time out and take your kids out to the park for some fun. Or play a game with them. There is nothing like children’s laughter to melt away your problems or worries if only for a little while. And children don’t need expensive toys and games to be happy. They need love and attention from the people that matters most to them i.e. you.
Create a happy safe family environment in your home. A place where everyone, regardless of age, is respected and admired.
Children, like adults, need affection. They need to know that someone loves them enough to give them time, cuddles, attention. Kids will be more confident in themselves if their parents enjoy their company. If their parents make time to play with them and amuse them they will be more confident children. Don't keep sending them in to watch TV or play with their toys/phone/laptop. It lowers self esteem.
On this topic, limit how much television your child watches and time they spend on mobile gadgets. Their imagination or creativity is underused. Children are better off outside than indoors slouched on the sofa gaming on a gadget.
Children are curious by nature – that is how they learn. Encourage your child to discover the world for them self whilst at the same time keeping him out of danger. So whilst you might not relish them tasting an ant as my boy did, the ant won’t harm him. It helps to keep things in perspective. Kids need to get dirty be it whilst they are painting or playing in the mud. Clothes can be washed, repaired or replaced – childhood memories of fun and laughter can’t!
There is a trend for parents, schools and nurseries not to let children be kids in case they hurt themselves. This is not conducive to creating positive confident adults. If weare always telling our children that the world is a bad place. Or full of people who will hurt them, how can we expect them to grow into well rounded individuals? They are more likely to be scared of their own shadows and not confident kids
So what can you do? Well firstly put things into perspective. The dangers have always been there in some shape or form. Unfortunately children have been abused and mistreated since time began. So if your child old enough and wants to walk to school with a group of mates, let them. For younger children, don't walk them to the classroom door, try leaving them at the school gates. You can wait discretely to make sure that they haven’t come out again.
Part 4 of this series will be available very soon.